UNCONVENTIONAL WORLD RECORDS

Why? Because Spaniard Ms Encarna is a wheelchair user who has a musclecontrol disorder called ataxia.

How did she become a porn star?

Well, apparently she wrote a letter to Spain’s biggest porn producer to complain that disabled people never featured in his films. Why she decided to do this is still a mystery.

Amazingly, he agreed to hold a casting for aspiring disabled porn stars.

And as expected, nobody presented themselves, so Encarna volunteered to do it herself.

She made it, and has released her first film in June entitled, rather aptly “Breaking Barriers.”

source

Tags: encarna+corder, disabled, porn

Popularity: 5% [?]

It’s a lightbulb. Whole, perfect and unbroken.

Removed from Fateh Mohammad’s anus, a prison inmate in a Pakistani jail.

And he says he can’t remember how it got there.

Doctors successfully took the bulb out, intact, after a 1.5 hour operation. “We had to take it out intact,” said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. “Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation.”

This could spawn a whole new angle on the well-loved lightbulb joke:

How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb in someone’s ass? [as of now, no satisfying answer found]

Fateh said after the operation: I am glad it’s taken out. It was definitely an enlightening experience.

source

Popularity: 2% [?]

What can be even stranger than auctioning one’s virginity or one’s own head as advertising space? A lot of things apparently.

To qualify for the list, the item or items must have received at least 1 bid. This proves that no matter what you sell, someone, somewhere wants to buy it!

Check it out:

10. Item #191367029: The Internet – initial cost USD1 million; of course nobody fell for it.

9. Item #277481422: UFO Detector – apparently a Brazilian prototype. Sold for USD135.

8. Item #248619068: The Meaning of Life – sold for a measly USD3.26.

7. Item #1178647016: Russian Test Space Shuttle – yes it’s the actual thing. Bidding stopped at USD25K but it was never sold, perhaps due to the USD5K shipping cost.

6. Item #2961640885: Vampire Killing Kit – contains crossbow with 4 silver-tipped arrows, wooden stake, bottle of holy water etc. Sold for almost USD5K.

5. Item #289158639: Real Shrunken Head – 26 heads on offer, belonging to obscure Ecuadorean tribesmen. Sold for USD25. What? No murder/manslaughter charges?

4. Item #2931457201: Ghost In a Jar – but bidding spoiled by stupid people who stretched the final price to USD90 million. I mean, come on!

3. Item #150118191: USAF Hughes AIM-4D Falcon Missile – a real missile. Never sold cos the almost USD4K bidding did not even breach the reserve price.

2. Item #127658711: Serial Killer Roy Norris’ Fingernails – sold for a bargain USD10.

1. Item number unknown: “Stricken Life” Painting – apparently haunted self-portrait painting of a man who later killed his wife and himself.

Note: this list by Rob Lee was last updated 2 years ago (July 2004).

Source

Tags: ebay, strange+ebay+auctions

Popularity: 2% [?]

The list is compiled by Blender magazine in its July edition. There are 25 in the list.

To cut a long story short, the champion is James “Mr Sensitivity” Taylor.

In truth, I have never heard of Mr Taylor. The most famous of among the top 5 is probably Boyz II Men, where Blender crucified with damning comments like these:

Never mind the quasi-thuggish “z” in their name — these Philly melismaniacs are about as gangsta as crying in your pillow. Four early-’90s R&B heartthrobs with an image more wholesome than fortified milk, they crooned their way to more than 25 million in sales and set the stage for all the boy bands who followed. Wussiest moment: The please-forgive-me-baby No. 1 smash “On Bended Knee,” which singlehandedly set men back at least 10 years.

full story

Popularity: 2% [?]

We’ve heard of the guy who was raised by chickens. Now a girl who was raised by dogs in Ukraine, although her story is considerably older news.

In essence:

When she was three (in 1986), her irresponsible, heavy drinking parents left her outside one night and she crawled into a hovel where they kept dogs. No one came to look for her or even seemed to notice she was gone, so she stayed where there was warmth and food — raw meat and scraps — forgetting what it was to be human, losing what toddler’s language she had and learning to survive as a member of the pack. That resulted in her being feral, meaning she *behaves* like a dog: Fast forward 5 years (1991), she was found, now 8 yrs old. She could hardly speak and ran around on all fours barking and doing things only dogs do like:

• shakes her head and neck in order to dry herself when wet
• panting with her tongue hanging out
• barks, and the sound she makes is not like a human being *pretending* to be a dog. It is a proper, chilling, canine-like burst of aggression.

Her latest pic, aged 23:

Full story

Tags: oxana+malaya, girl+raised+by+dogs

Tags: feral

Popularity: 2% [?]

n today’s The Star report, I was surprised to see such strong words being used to describe the PM’s response to the Sipadan incident. Normally such words are not used in mainstream newspapers.

Could this be why Musa kept quiet on Nazri’s Sabahan PTI comments?

What is interesting is that the state minister for tourism, Tan Sri Chong Kah Kiat has stoutly defended the CM and dismissed the initial report on the incident in a foreign blog as "gross exaggeration."

——————–

Thursday July 27, 2006

Lay off Sipadan

By ELIZABETH LOOI

KUALA LUMPUR: Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi lashed out at Sabah Chief Minister Datuk Musa Aman for going ahead with the RM4.5mil clubhouse project at Pulau Sipadan despite his objection. 

“I was very angry with Musa. I told him not to build it. I said so many corals are dying and he promised that he would look into the project,” said Abdullah, who openly expressed his disappointment and frustration with Musa.  

He said the corals would attract tourists and divers from around the world but they would not visit the country if the corals were destroyed. 

Abdullah was referring to the construction of a clubhouse, toilets and sewage facilities that started on the island two months ago. It caused serious concern among divers when there was gradual destruction of the coral reefs. 

On May 14, a barge from the construction fell onto the seabed and flattened 372.94 sq m of coral reef at the island’s drop-off point in the north. 

Musa ordered construction of the project stopped but later allowed it to continue, provided environment-friendly building materials were used.  

Abdullah said he was upset with the general quality of environment in the country, and that Malaysians should learn to appreciate the environment as it was a gift from God. 

“God gave us such a beautiful gift. Why are we destroying it?” Abdullah said in his speech when attending the Malaysian Professional Centre annual dinner here last night. 

He said more tourists would visit Malaysia if the environment was kept clean. 

“Tourists want to enjoy places with beautiful beaches and clean water,” Abdullah said. 

“But now they are all destroyed. We do not know how to value (the environment). 

“Giant leatherback turtles used to lay eggs on the Terengganu shores but now they are not there any more.”  

He said he was very upset that the majority of the country’s rivers were polluted and waterfalls had dried up, such as the ones in Penang. 

“Penang used to have a waterfall but now you cannot find it any more. It is a dirty place,” he said. 

Citing the Gombak-Klang river as another example, Abdullah said Malaysia was fortunate to have a river that ran through the city as it was a beautiful sight. 

He said, however, the river was now too polluted. “If you throw a crocodile into the river, the crocodile will die.”  

source

Popularity: 3% [?]

We’ve heard of beer being cheaper than water. Of course beer *always* costs next to nothing in some countries, but wine? I thought that wine costs considerably more than beer…

Well, that’s how it is in Australia right now, at least.

Cost of a bottle now: <2 Australian dollars. That’s around RM5 for a one litre bottle. That’s like….. non-stop aramai ti?

Apparently a glut of grapes have resulted from huge harvests for 3 consecutive years.

Result: massive oversupply. Up to 1 billion litres of unsold wine.

Winemakers are complaining, but consumers are surely smiling, because it means quality wines are available at a fraction of the normal price, and that wine of the month clubs are proliferating like crazy.

source

Popularity: 7% [?]

Ford Ice, naturally!

Displayed at the British Motor Show, London, July 2006.

Unfortunately, it’s only a sculpture. But before you say “bah! humbug!” consider this:

• life size, weighing 6.5 tons, which is 5 times more than the actual weight
• This is no chisel and hammer job, specialized carving equipment was brought in, including a “highly advanced, computer driven cutting machine”, to achieve a “finely detailed to reflect all the elegance and style of the original.”
• 120 separate pieces of crafted ice was made, which was then reconstructed to make the final car.

source

Tags: Ford+Ice, Ford+Focus, world’s+coolest+car, cars

Popularity: 1% [?]

Updated 1st Aug:

Wedding of the year is not K-CT, it is Noor and Cik Wook Kundor. The only way for Datuk K to win that title is to marry Cik Wook…
————————————————————

[originally posted 25th July]

Some original jokes, or a variation of exisiting ones

Datuk K is too old to be driving a brand new Honda City, he should stick to driving a TZ Prado.

Datuk K made a big mistake, he thought a Honda City is cheaper than a TZ Prado, in the end it cost him millions.

Tags: Datuk+K, Siti+Nurhaliza

Popularity: 2% [?]

Felix Cocco, 80 dealt crack at his house in return for sex with prostitutes.

As attu said, at that age he probably should have been peddling viagra.

Tags: world’s+oldest+drug+dealer, drugs, crack, cocaine

Popularity: 1% [?]

A review, setelah menonton persembahannya malam tadi:

• Buildup seolah-olah "nothing", beberapa saat sebelum lagu bermula barulah Aznil mention ttg lagu – oleh itu langsung tak ada peluang lihat Faizal get into character.
• Pakaian tidak sesuai – macam walk-in sahaja! Patut lebih "grunge"/lusuh
• Hairstyle sama saja! Langsung tak ada perubahan – sepatutnya pakai wig lebih baik
• Lagi-lagi aksi air guitar, dan ini lebih teruk, dari mula sampai habis main air guitar saja
• Tak ada headbanging langsung – menghampakan – sepatutnya ada sekurang-kurangnya semasa solo
• Terjun ke "mosh pit" yang….kosong, atau lebih tepat lagi lompat dari pentas – sikit lagi silap, kalau jatuh dagu kena meja pengkritik kan naya
• Bila dia dah betu-betul depan meja pengkritik, saya terfikir, adakah sejarah akan terjadi? Adakah adegan Bo Bice panjat meja, menari depan Tiara Jacquelina akan terjadi??? Malangnya tidak…
• Ttg gunakan vokal rendah satu oktaf – saya fikir ini memang mustahil akan terjadi – tidak akan ada sesiapa boleh lawan aksi sinis lagenda Kurt
• Aksi-aksi tangan seolah-olah menyatakan bahawa "menyampah lah nak nyanyi lagu ini"
• Ganjil, makcik-makcik bertudung euphoria dengan lagu SLTS
• Semestinya penyokong fanatiknya akan menganggap Faizal telah top Kurt sendiri
• Walaubagaimanapun pujian kpd Faizal kerana tidak pernah menyanyikan lagu seperti ini sebelum ini

Verdict

Kalau lagu kategori heavy rock, Faizal gagal menewaskan Felix. Felix deserved the standing ovation, Faizal no. Kalau Kurt Cobain ada di PJ menonton, saya fikir dia akan geleng kepala. Pentas berasap terlalu sedikit… Tapi memanglah, AF bukannya tempat cari vokalis baik, itu di OIAM.

Tags: Akademi+Fantasia, AF4, Faizal

Popularity: 1% [?]

As hedonistica said, It’s like they pulled somebody off the street and just threw her in the ring. At one point she even turns her back to the other boxer.

video:

http://www.hedonistica.com/2006/07/worst_boxer_eve.php

Tags: boxing, world’s+worst+boxer

Popularity: 1% [?]

This was originally written by myself in April 2005 and passed on to friends. As far as I know, it has never been published before.

As usual, discretion is requested. Please do not read on if you’re easily offended.

There are some insider jokes here, of which background needs some explanation:

• Joseph Ruspin is currently working at a garment factory in Tuaran and lives in Kiulu. He has no fondness towards church activities.
• Benedict Andsunal is a local at Tamparuli.
• “apa bah kau cakap ini?” means “I don’t understand what you’re on about.”

———————————————————————————

Joseph Ruspin, 38 created history by being the first ever Asian Pope. Even more shockingly, he achieved the unprecedented feat of a non-priest, and an inactive church goer at that, to bypass even the favoured Cardinal Roberto Vidal of the Phillippines, let alone Bishop John Lee of the diocese of Kota Kinabalu.

Sources within the Vatican said that due to an administrative error blamed on a mentally unstable clerk at the Holy See, Joseph Ratzinger’s name was mistyped twice into the Vatican’s database, first as Joseph Ratruspin, then Joseph Ruspin. Adding to the confusion, due to the similarity of their names, not mentioning their appearances (although why the age difference did not make them realise their mistake is still a mystery), the ever-effective machinery at the Vatican rushed to send delegates to the hitherto obscure and sleepy Kampung Kionsom Baru to locate Mr Ratruspin, to the bemusement of the locals.

Trusted insiders told that Mr Ratruspin was indulging in his usual habit of participating in a drinking session, and that he was caught by surprise and immediately whisked off to a waiting Vatican-sanctioned helicopter on a connecting flight to Rome. His pleas for mercy went unheeded.

Back at the secret conclave, the obviously unimpressed Cardinal Bishop Joseph Ratzinger asked him immediately on his preferred papal name, upon which Mr Ratruspin blurted out: “apa bah kau cakap ini?” whom even the fluent-in-10-languages Cardinal could not understand. After frantic discussions among themselves, and frantic calls to the Malaysian Embassy in Rome, they managed to get an interpreter rushed over. After thinking for a good while, Mr Ratruspin created another historic moment when he uttered a name which has never been used as a papal name, Pope Benedict Andsunal I.

Needless to say, the mentally unstable employee was summarily sacked, Pope Benedict Andsunal I’s reign terminated after a mere few minutes, and the rightful Pope Benedict XVI was installed. All these went unnoticed by the 1.1 billion faithful which surely must have stared in desbelief at the sight of the unknown Pope appearing at the Vatican balcony.

AFP

Popularity: 5% [?]

update: i think i should add “in modern times”. Of course we’ll never beat records set in biblical times: Methuselah would say to Izumi, “you’re still a baby” or that Samson would shake his head watching the World’s Strongest Man competition.
——————————————————————

If i remember correctly, the current world record is something like 67 years old.

Khurshid Bibi, 80 found herself pregnant in March 2006. She lives somewhere in a village in Pakistan.

She was quoted as saying, “it would be very difficult for me to face the grandchildren.” Why? Because you’d be red-faced when they start teasing you with words like: “Granny! Wow…I didn’t know that you’re still at it…”

She was married in 1950 and gave birth to a girl a year later. That would only mean one thing: another world record for the greatest age difference between natural siblings – 55 years! Now, how weird that would be. The big sis is old enough to be her little sis/bro’s granny. When the little one starts to go to school, the big sis would’ve already retired.

Ahmed Din, 85 the husband would not escape any ribbing either. Wolf-whistles and back-slapping would inevitably be followed by lighthearted questions on how to “still get it on after all these years.”

Mitigating factor: the authenticity or accuracy of this report could not be ascertained, as it did not appear in reputable Western publications. It did appear in other regional publications though. This is not to say that only the Western press is reliable, but… you know what I mean.

source:

Tags: pregnancy, world’s+oldest+pregnant+woman

Popularity: 4% [?]

This is an actual obituary, published by the Richmond Times Dispatch newspaper (US) on 9th July 2006.

Frederic Arthur (Fred) Clark, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other’s courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle as a result of an automobile accident on June 18, 2006.

True to Fred’s personal style, his final hours were spent joking with medical personnel while he whimpered, cussed, begged for narcotics and bargained with God to look over his wife and kids.

He loved his family. His heart beat faster when his wife of 37 years Alice Rennie Clark entered the room and saddened a little when she left. His legacy was the good works performed by his sons, Frederic Arthur Clark III and Andrew Douglas Clark MD, PhD., along with Andy’s wife, Sara Morgan Clark.

Fred’s back straightened and chest puffed out when he heard the Star Spangled Banner and his eyes teared when he heard Amazing Grace. He wouldn’t abide self important tight *censored*.

Always an interested observer of politics, particularly what the process does to its participants, he was amused by politician’s outrage when we lie to them and amazed at what the voters would tolerate.

His final wishes were “throw the bums out and don’t elect lawyers” (though it seems to make little difference).

During his life he excelled at mediocrity. He loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span.

He had a life long love affair with bacon, butter, cigars and bourbon.

You always knew what Fred was thinking much to the dismay of his friend and family. His sons said of Fred, “he was often wrong, but never in doubt”.

When his family was asked what they remembered about Fred, they fondly recalled how Fred never peed in the shower – on purpose.

He died at MCV Hospital and sadly was deprived of his final wish which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a double date to include his wife, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter to crash an ACLU cocktail party.

In lieu of flowers, Fred asks that you make a sizable purchase at your local ABC store or Virginia winery (please, nothing French – the *censored*) and get rip roaring drunk at home with someone you love or hope to make love to. Word of caution though, don’t go out in public to drink because of the alcohol related laws our elected officials have passed due to their inexplicable terror at the sight of a MADD lobbyist and overwhelming compulsion to meddle in our lives.

No funeral or service is planned. However, a party will be held to celebrate Fred’s life. It will be held in Midlothian, Va. Email fredsmemory@yahoo.com for more information.

Fred’s ashes will be fired from his favorite cannon at a private party on the Great Wicomico River where he had a home for 25 years.

Additionally, all of Fred’s friend (sic) will be asked to gather in a phone booth, to be designated in the future, to have a drink and wonder, “Fred who?”

What makes it even more interesting is that the paper published this obituary online, and opened up a virual guestbook for anybody to leave messages of condolence, or simply any comments. So far there are more than 1,000 comments.

source

Popularity: 1% [?]

There’s a website with a webcam to watch grass grow.

That sounds pretty boring isn’t it?

But that isn’t half as boring as watching water evaporate.

But at least, over a couple of weeks, or even days, you actually see some growth on grass and after some hours, you actually see the water in its container getting less as it evaporates.

Well, I think the only thing more boring than those two is the pitch drop experiment. I also didn’t know what it is, but in essence, it measures the flow of a piece of pitch over many years. The words "many years" should give you a hint.

Pitch = any of a number of highly viscous liquids which appears solid, most commonly bitumen, the stuff that makes roads/asphalt, I think.

In Australia, the experiment was started in 1927, and 73 years later, the 8th drop fell. This allowed experimenters to calculate that the pitch has a viscosity approximately 100 billion times that of water. How exciting!

Needless to say, the originator of the experiment had died long before its completion.

Now, Really Magazine is currently attempting to replicate the experiment which can be followed via a live webcam. Yes, we can barely breathe due to excitement.

WARNING: only attempt this if you are *really* bored.

Click here to see the webcam in action.

Tags: world’s+most+boring+website, pitch+drop+experiment, webcam, boring+website

Popularity: 1% [?]

Many mentions in the web already, but from this comments from a visitor you’d know that at least we’re better off:

On the net I had found that the entry fee was 7 Egyptian Pounds. However when I got there they said it was 13 Pounds. I went back to the car as or whole group was going to go in, but when we got back to the pay window it was now 30 Pounds each….when I paid my 30 pounds I was actually given 3 tickets with 10 pounds written on them!

Pics

Tags: world’s+worst+theme+park, fantazyland, theme+parks

Popularity: 2% [?]

A Vietnamese father finally agreed to change his son’s name after him enduring a lifetime of ridicule.

The 19-yr old Hanoi native’s name was changed from “Fined Six Thousand and Five Hundred” to “Golden Dragon”.

Why on earth was the original name chosen? Apparently, the father chose the name in a fit of anger because he was fined….. 6,500 dongs (local currency) for ignoring Vietnam’s 2-child policy.

Lesson: do not set a name for your newborn child when you’re angry.

But hey, this does not seem to be as bad as “Private Parts”

source

Popularity: 2% [?]

Setelah malas dengan AF, akhirnya saya ternanti-nanti hari Sabtu, kerana dia akan membawakan lagu teen angst yang bakal meletupkan pentas. Jika pentas tidak berasap, Faizal tidak layak jadi juara. Jika Faizal tidak top Hukum Karma AF3, I am very sorry.

Adakah Faizal akan:

• pakai wig seperti Felix?
• headbanging?
• terjun ke mosh pit yang disediakan khas?
• gunakan vokal satu octave lebih rendah Kurt seperti dalam TOTP?
• bertumbuk dengan Aznil kerana terlalu "get into character"?
• cipta sejarah AF: turun dari pentas, naik meja pengkritik dan menari di sana, seperti Bo Bice buat di American Idol?

Musim lepas impian saya tak kesampaian: Mawi menyanyikan Highway Star atau Enter Sandman.

Tags: Akademi+Fantasia, AF4, Faizal

Popularity: 1% [?]

As narrated by Impermanence, this is even more hair-raising than Rent-boy’s script in Trainspotting:

Fucking heroin man, I don’t know where I’m at with the stuff. I don’t care about life, it’s boring (apart from sex, but who needs sex when you have heroin), it’s a meaningless blip in a sea of neverending consciousness, and we are on a very low level of consciousness, an experence if you will. Society says life is so important, you must live a long and healthy one, you must be successful, you must refrain from mind altering chemicals, you must be a cog in the machine and work for nothing to make others lots. You must be a brainwashed programmed robot, do as you’re told, wear your seatbelt and always look good.

Fuck Society, fuck the rules, fuck life. It means nothing to me anymore, it’s all an illusion. You are nothing, you came from nothing, you will die and be nothing. That sea of neverending consciousness is a sea of neverending nothingness because when your sences die, there is nothing. So while you have a body with sences and opiate receptors you may as well use this to your advantage. Choose a drug (women, McDonalds, alcohol, weed, E, speed, coke, crack, smack) whatever. Take a lot of it, enjoy it, enjoy your time while the duller masses work, fight, watch t.v., spend, save, laugh, cry, pray, hate ,love ect ect. Be smart and cheat the system, it’s easy for intelligent people.

I’m alive, opium poppies are living, I’m top of the food chain, I like heroin. I never signed up to the rules the duller masses live by and as far as I’m concerned opiates although addictive are a damn sight nicer on my body than drugs the duller masses consume legally every day in massive amounts. So I’ll be an addict, so what, suppily is in abundance here and always has been and I can grow and produce my own diamorphine, it’s easy if you’re not a fucking idiot.

So I think I’ve made my mind up, I’ve been fucking around with heroin for a long time, smoking. I want to shoot up, I’m sick of every other chemical apart from weed, my best friend!!! You become a doctor, I become a junky, in the end would there really be a difference??? we’ve not got much time here, spend most of it in a beautiful, safe, warm place with holes in your arm and a hunt to go on the next morning or spend it in the rat race stressed out and brainwashed.

Fuck it, I choose Heroin.

Source

Tags: heroin, drugs

Popularity: 1% [?]

My pick would be this tattoo of a coconut tree next to a burger. What? A burger for a tattoo??? Who in their right mind would do that?

Rather than getting yourself tattooed with dubious designs, why not go for golf vacations, of course bringing your own golf equipment. Even if you don’t feel like lugging all those things, you can look out for golf galaxy stores on the destinations, where you can buy your golf clubs, shoes and other golf paraphernalia. In fact, they even have equipments for other sports like basketball: eg, basketball shoes.

Source

Popularity: 3% [?]

The World Cup? guess again.

The Commonwealth Games? Asian Games? Not even close.

The answer is: the worldOutgames.

The what?

Later on that, check out these stats first:

• to be held in Montreal, Canada 30 July – 5th August
• 16,000 athletes
• 35 disciplines
• 120 countries
• 250,000 visitors

Why the relative lack of number of visitors, and non-disclosed number of television audience?

Because this is world’s 1st worldOutgames, a multidiscpline sports event specially for lesbian, gay,bisexual,and transgender (LGBT) athletes from around the world, although it’s officially open to anyone, regardless of sexual orientation.

There are no minumum standards before you’re allowed to take part, which could explain the high number of athletes expected.

And just before that, there’s another huge gay-related sports event, the Chicago Gay Games VII, which boasted 12,000 athletes from 70 countries competing in 30 disciplines.

Now, imagine this scenario:

You decide to take part, then win a gold medal. Can you then go to the top sports bodies in Malaysia and demand the usual rewards including Datukship because you won gold at a truly global sports event participated by 120 countries, but the small problem is that it’s a homosexual-friendly games?

What do you think would happen?

Tags: gay+games

Popularity: 4% [?]

Not recommended for any age. With conversations like these, it’s hard to beat these guys:

• Father: happy birthday, kitten.
• Daughter: thanks dad.
• Father: hey, do you remember what I did for your last birthday?
• Daughter: raped me in a clown custome, why?
• [Father changes into clown costume]
• Daughter: I hate you.
• Father: Maybe if I sober up I will remember to wear a condom this time.

Read at your own discretion:

http://www.cant-touch-this.co.uk/morningglory/comics.html

Popularity: 1% [?]

From bad to worse.

After seeing his header saved by Buffon, then forced to pass by The Cup after being sent off, then being forced to apologise to the world for defending his family, then losing his fortune and forced to rely on a beat up car for transport, Zidane well and truly lost it when it refused to start one night.

Tags: zidane, headbutt

Popularity: 1% [?]

Warning: stop reading if easily offended!

Updated on 18th July: Datuk K is too old to drive a brand new City, he should be like Datuk Effendi who drives a second-hand Tiara or Datuk M who drives a 2 cyLINDAr vehicle.

SMS making the rounds: Datuk K is too old to drive a brand new City, he should be like Datuk Effendi who drives a second-hand Tiara.

As I mentioned earlier, Wedding of the Year 2006 for sure. But hopefully wont be like the other Wedding of the Year which took place in 2003 which became Divorce of the Year 2006. And someone was very naughty to suggest that Yusri-Erra breakup was caused by another man, who is even cuter than Yusri. That man supposedly finished 3rd in a certain popular reality show in 2004.

The only thing the rest of us mere mortals can do is take note of the locations, times and dates of the events, then set up shop early and hope to make a quick buck.

Tags: Datuk+K, Siti+Nurhaliza

Popularity: 1% [?]

Now you can create your own version of the Winchester Mystery House, complete with hidden chambers and disappearing staircases.

I dont think we can find such specialists in Malaysia, let alone in Sabah.

Or that our deeply superstitious masses would even approve of such a thing.

Truly, there is no such word as "gunsamang" in western society.

http://www.hiddenpassageway.com/

Tags: winchester+mystery+house

Popularity: 1% [?]

All this while I go to housing shows, car shows, IT shows, why not this time go to a medical equipment show??

Apart from learning about the latest medic gadgets around, you can get ideas of what to put in your house to scare off naughty kids or would-be burglars:

Screaming voice optional.

Heavy, laboured breathing included.

The International Modern Hospital Show 2006 is held at Japan.

Source:

http://www.pinktentacle.com/2006/07/face-to-face-with-high-tech-medical-devices/

Popularity: 1% [?]

This has got to be a supreme act of recklessness and stupidity: the act itself is stupid, but videoing yourself in plain view in action? Unspeakable.

It was originally shown at his myspace account, but both his account and the video has been either deleted by him or myspace.

But it’s still available to be seen at The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) website.

CAIR said the perpetrators of the incident videotaped their actions and then posted the video online. (The video was placed online June 17, 2006, but the actual incident may have taken place last summer.) The two men are first shown shooting a copy of the Quran…. with a “Colt M-16.” …a fully-automatic military weapon that is not legal for personal use. They then take the Quran to a mosque and throw it at the entrance while shouting what sounds like “Jesus rocks.”

source:

cair-net.org: video shows bullet-riddled Quran thrown at Tennessee mosque

Tags: quran, religion, shooting+quran

Popularity: 4% [?]

Zidane’s headbutt has out-sensationalised the end result of the game.

With Thierry “among the 3 or 4 best players in the world” Henry and Zinedine “the best player in the world since Maradona” Zidane out in the 2nd half of extra time, France were deprived of their 2 superstars.

There are 2 unforgettable images in my mind:

• obviously, of Zidane headbutting Materazzi; but the other one is
• of Zidane passing by the World Cup trophy on the way to the dressing room after being sent off:

Some people commented that Zidane should’ve at least come out at the end of the match to give moral support to his teammates – but I am not sure what the rules are here – are redcarded players allowed to come out during the awards ceremony?

Immediately after the game, French players mostly declined to comment about the incident.

According to a bbc newsreport, a few hours after the game (2am to be exact), Zidane gave his agent a hint of what had transpired: he exploded inside not due to Marco fondling his nipples as some other people mentioned, but rather of what Marco said, which details he declined to reveal. But rumours have started coming out that Materazzi had indeed insulted Zidane’s mother. The agent promised that Zidane will reveal all later, after he’s calmed down enough.

So the question is: is avenging an insult to your mother more important than winning the world cup?

Another questioned: how to explain this act to football-crazy kids who idolise Zidane?

On the other side, from a video I saw at youtube, it seems Marco Materazzi is no angel either. Shevchenko seems to be at the receiving end of some of his worst deeds.

At least 2 websites with a domain name dedicated to this incident have sprung up a mere few hours later. Crass opportunism, especially as the other one is loaded with ads, but I guess it’s all business.

Tags: world+cup, zidane, materazzi, headbutt, world+cup+final

Popularity: 1% [?]

Not many of us will have the opportunity to be in charge of putting toether the most high profile sporting event on earth. Not that most of us would be dying for the job – I bet many of us would, upon asked if we’d like the job, just look like we’ve seen a ghost and shake our head silently.

Imagine the pressure: one person in four on Earth will be watching your creation!

But we can learn from the man who has accepted the challenge, FIFA General Coordinator Windsor John, a Malaysian from Kedah. Such a pressure-cooker job is fascinating to say the least, and would be something you’d be proud of to be in your CV, if pulled off, that is.

Gist of what he said in the interview is this, which we can apply in our daily life as well, although not up to such an extreme degree:

• you need the experience to back it all up. In John’s case, he’s been involved in FIFA competitions for 10 years, since the 1997 FIFA World Youth Championship.
• preparation for a big event goes on every day that you’re there. For the WC Final for example, once they know the teams they’d contact them with regard to their training sessions one day before the match, and they also inform them of the colours they are going to wear. That means you know exactly what do to at any time.
• the day before the big day, there are 2 major activities going on. Number 1: match coordinator meeting, where we put the two teams together and all the other officials and explain the organisation of the match. We go through the logistics for the match – what time do they arrive, what do they do when they arrive, when do we collect the starting list? Number 2: the official training session at the stadium where the two teams have a chance to train for one hour. We make sure that they follow the time, that all the necessary equipment is in place.
• the day of the match is a flurry of activity:
  • go to venue very early
  • 9 hours before kickoff – check the pitch with the venue manager. Check all the markings to make sure they’re correct, make sure the goals are in place, check the substitute goals. Do it again and again and again – we don’t take any chances even though it’s the sixth match in the venue. Check the changing room areas. Cleanliness is one of the most important things that we ensure.
  • 7 hours before kickoff – have a look from the VIP area, make sure all the flags are in place and chat with all the various managers. Come back to the changing room area and have a short meeting with the venue manager, to discuss any issues, any security concerns, any other important details. Meaning: there’ll always be something coming up even in such a meticulously planned activity as this.
  • 5 hours before kickoff – Youth programme kids come in: the kids that carry the flags and escort the players rehearse the pre-match ceremony. We do a rehearsal because at every match the kids are different, so we have to explain it all over again. Quick briefing with the ball kids. I have two ball kid trainers, I have a brief meeting with them and then we train the kids.
  • 3.5 hours before kickoff – The security check would have finished by then. The FIFA Security Officer will come to me and give me a short report. Possibly this is to ensure there are no bombs or terrorist activities.
  • 3 hours before kickoff- The gates are open, so we get updates from then on to get a feel of the situation. Meaning people can only come in at this time, not earlier.
  • 2 hours before kickoff – Wait for the teams. We have briefed the team liaison officers to call us when the team is departing from the hotel, so we know that it’ll take about 15 minutes, 20 minutes max to reach the stadium, so that we can get the entrance ready with stewards, make sure that they are prepared to receive the teams.
  • 90 minutes before kickoff – Meet the teams and collect the start lists. So far the teams have been very cooperative. Meaning: Windsor John eats the heart out of any soccer fan in Malaysia, or the world for that matter, meeting personally with such luminaries as Zidane, Henry and Cannavaro. But no time for dilly-dallying, next!
  • 70 minutes before kickoff – Take the fourth official to the changing room, where he checks the colours, checks for jewellery and so on, two or three minutes maximum. Then I will wait for the teams to go for the warm-up, that’s usually 45 minutes to 20 minutes before kick-off, but for the Final match we have moved the time forward because we have some ceremonies. I make sure that they follow the time scheduled. Learn: attention to detail! No detail is too small! Now there’s time for a coffee break, then…
  • 20 minutes before kickoff – From now on the clock really goes fast! Once the teams get back into the changing rooms, my assistant will make sure that the tunnel is prepared, the flags, the kids, everybody’s in place.
  • 15 minutes to kickoff – When I bring the teams from the changing rooms, everything is in place. My assistant will send the national flags in, then I cue the announcer to welcome the teams.
  • Kick-off – The final thing that I do before kick-off is give the referee the thumbs-up for kick-off. If you sit at home and watch the telly or if you are sitting in the tribune and you see the match kick-off on time, then we have done our job.

Source:

fifaworldcup.com

Tags: world+cup, management, olympiastadion, berlin

Popularity: 1% [?]

Got this from friends in the media recently.

The file starts with the text:

Following the Malaysian government’s recent decision to rationalize domestic aviation sector, Malaysia Airlines will operate its flights on 19 trunk routes effective 1 August 2006.

We wish to inform you that the operation and sales activities on the 19 trunk routes have not been affected by the rationalization exercise. Reservations and ticketing for Malaysia Airlines’ flights on these 19 trunk routes remain unchanged.

The 19 trunk routes are featured in the file below:

MALAYSIA AIRLINES DOMESTIC TRUNK ROUTES2.doc

Popularity: 1% [?]

After this I will never have any sympathy for any of the soccer stars whose sad faces we see whenever they lose in big tournaments.

Outside the stadium, they living unbelieveable riches, with their flashy cars and seven figure houses.

And what are we, the fans, doing? We cry with them? For what? For losing a RM200 bet? After the Cup is over, then what?

We go back to our mundane jobs, and they go back to their glamourous life, waiting for the next stab at glory? There is always a next time for them.

MSN.com has pics of the stars with their cars, including;

• Wayne Rooney with his Aston Martin Vanquish S, which is only one of several cars he owns. Cost 170K pounds (about RM1 million, although we can be sure it could go up to 2 or 3 million ringgit if brought here). I dont think this guys even knows what is the meaning of the word "hutang" or "loan". 170K pounds is like…..half month salary for him??
• Thierry Henry with his Mercedes SLR McLaren, costing 313K pounds (can easily reach RM4 or 5 million here)
• Freddy Ljungberg with his Porsche Cayenne Turbo
• and many more…………..

Tags: world+cup, cars, football

Popularity: 1% [?]

After having witnessed him being booed during the France-Portugal match and reading anti-Ronaldo blogs in the world cup blog, ihateronaldo.blogspot.com and www.ihateronaldo.com, it seems that Cristiano is the most hated footballer on the planet.

But I think we’re concentrating too much on his bad side.

He seems the only high profile football player to be involved in international charity, when he flew over to Aceh in 2005 to raise funds for tsunami victims there.

He ended up raising more than USD100,000 by auctioning off his personal sports gear.

He even sponsored an Indonesian child (+ the child’s father) to see a Portugal World Cup qualifying game.

Ronaldo came from a poor background (like a lot of other soccer superstars), and his dad died in September 2005 while Ronaldo was on international duty in Russia.

Whatever it is, this 21-yr old is a fantastic footballer and deserves the good life now.

I am not condoning his embracing of the dark arts of football, and nobody can stop the gay scene from purring over him, but at least we know there’s another side of him.

Tags: cristiano+ronaldo, ronaldo, world+cup, football

Popularity: 2% [?]

Got this info today.

Datuk Salleh is ex Sabah CM and now State Minister of Local Government and Housing. I am not sure if he’s the first Sabahan politician to have his own website, but could very well be so.

Apart from the obligatory info about the YB, some other interesting things are:

• the forum section, where you can hantam him if you want. As of now still empty.
• the blog section, as of now still empty.
• the ebook section, where you can download ebooks compatible with Microsoft  Reader. I am not sure if the ebooks are public domain.

Tags: Sabah, politics, Salleh+tun+said

Popularity: 1% [?]

Well, Adriana and Poh Chuan made all the guys in Malaysia green with envy by winning places to watch the World Cup Final in Berlin. And I can only blame myself for not even being aware of the existence of the Gillette “Perform Like A Champion – Spot the Ball” Contest. 

The package: 1 stadium ticket (didnt say what category, most likely the lowest lah – category 3 – but who cares, you’re IN the stadium, so just soak up the atmosphere), airfare, accommodation, transportation and RM2,500 spending money. I would say the total cost could be up to RM50,000…

Adriana, a clerk from Kuching sent in over 20 entries. Lee Poh Chuan, a customer relations manager from Puchong, said she only sent in 5 entries.

In contrast, the other prizes sounded like junk to me. First prize winner gets a Gillette Fifa World Cup Goodie bag with RM1K cash. What’s in the goodie bag: Limited Edition Gillette trolley bag, waterproof radio and key chains. I wont even bother to mention what the other lesser winners get.

source: thestar

Tags: world+cup, football, contest, lucky

Popularity: 1% [?]

If you want laughs go over to http://www.linguamatix.com/linguaweb/, then click on the FIFA world cup site.

I could not stop laughing at some of the results:

• "Fun and Games" became "Bukan Perkara Mudah"
• "Thuram shines as Zidane sets up dream finale" became "Thuram bersinar macam Zidane set-set atas penutup impian"
• "France provide a trio of aspirants, led by their lithe, graceful and lightning-quick striker, Thierry Henry." became "France bagi satu kumpulan tiga orang bagi aspiran, dipimpin oleh mereka lembut, sopan dan kilat cepat penyerang, Thierry Henry."

It reminds me of literal translations at subtitles at local movies.

Just shows that this field is still in its infancy.

Warning to Students: do NOT overly rely on this!!!

Tags: online+dictionary, English-Malay, dictionary, online

Popularity: 3% [?]

If you see something like this, don’t be deceived.

Someone’s playing a prank. I mean, that scene was during his election as Pope, broadcast live the world over, where perhaps even more people watching it than any World Cup Final. If he really did wear that, what do you think the immediate reaction would be???
The original photo, of which many can be sourced from the internet.

Popularity: 3% [?]

Such is the high expectation.

From hero, to zero at the stadium:

And at home:

And this is the kind of greeting the players got when they left their hotel in Frankfurt to go back home:

If even the reigning World Player of the Year and the World Cup All-time Highest Goalscorer can get this kind of welcome, what hope do the rest of us have?
Heck, Malaysia can’t even get past Thailand in the lowest level of World Cup Qualifying. And at the 2nd stage of qualifying, Thailand is like cannon fodder to the big guns of Asian football, who in turn gets thrashed at the highest level. Matai lah…………

Popularity: 3% [?]

There is just one source of peace and joy that doesn’t change — and that is God. Having a personal relationship with God can give you true peace no matter what happens on the soccer field. Here are 4 key steps you can take to begin a personal relationship with God.

http://www.jesusandtheworldcup.com

Popularity: 2% [?]

I have a crazy dream – hop on the plane right now and go watch the final, due in a few days.

Question: how much would it cost?

Well, the CHEAPEST (Category 3, the worst seats) ticket offer I got so far is from euroteam.info at a mere 2900 euros.

Yikes, that’s like… RM15,000!!!

I have a niggling feeling that sites like this is operated by touts and other shady characters. It is not helped by the fact that on the website, it states that you’d have to pick up the ticket(s) in person between 2pm and 7pm on match day, at a 4th floor Berlin apartment.

And that cost is before the plane ticket, accomodation, food, souvenirs, beer etc etc etc

The best seats cost upwards of RM25,000. These guys are making a killing.

Better get that 2010 front row seat early from reputable sources.

Tags: world+cup, touts, final

Popularity: 1% [?]

It’s always interesting to see newspaper headlines in football-crazy Brazil the next day, especially if Brazil lost.

An example is this headline by Sao Paulo’s O Estado de São Paulo with the headline “A team to forget” and subheadline “The Seleção leaves the World Cup with a lamentable display against France, where the star Zidane shined.”

More headlines at the worldcupblog.org

All headlines are from Today’s Front Pages.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Personally, I find the following to be the best blog or comment of the World Cup so far (perhaps ever)!

Basically it’s saying that the World Cup, and perhaps pretty much any sporting event that commands a global audience is all a big rig. Ronaldo playing below par is done on purpose, Carlos Alberto Parreira’s tactics all part of a big plan, and all the coffeeshop talk about tactics, determination etc is all bullshit & a waste of time. In other words, THIS is the Matrix…

Full post goes like this (verbatim):

Well, I think I told you before this is another very doubtful WC and unfortuntely I was right

Before you start blaming Pareira, Ronaldinho and everyone else, just consider a few facts:

1986 was arguably the last real WC we saw; by “real” I mean not orchestrated by any means

then came 1990 and it was in Italy and of course, Italy should have won, they were hosts, etc, etc,, but there came the bad Argentines and stole the show; after that they got tough time – Maradona’s suspension, tough draw in last World Cups and so on

1994 the WC was in USA, far away from Europe and while almost everybody in Europe was sleeping and not watching, Brazil won

also in 1994 the big money came; just a reminder that after that the champions have been alternating between Nike and Adidas (this year it’s going to be Adidas)

1998 it was in France, the French build new nice stadiums and they won; what a surprise!?

2002 it was again far away from Europe, again few watched and quietly and peacefully Brazil won

now it’s 2006 and the French scenario is back – again we see a lot of new stadiums, a lot of money invested, even the ball is called “Teamspirit” (which is the only thing the current German squad can offer)…

what if Brazil had won – you know what happend in Formula 1 when Schumacher was winning a title after title; total lost of interest in the races followed; same would happen with the WC; it is often misthought that Brazil has the most supporters and FIFA is interested in them winning; it’s quite the opposite – no more than 10% of the fans worldwide support Brazil while the rest (and especially in Europe where most of FIFA’s revenues come from) hate them. Conclusion: the Hexa is bad for the WC and FIFA

There’s been a lot of talk that Nike dictates the starting 11 and this is the reason we see the veterans there; totally wrong – with all the Joga Bonito hype, Nike has no interest in Brazil playing ugly as they did in this WC. Nike is not stupid and I’m sure they know Robinho and Cicinho playing will result in Joga Bonito on the field. Moreover, most of the Joga Bonito ads had Robinho on them, not Ronaldo.

Pareira is also not stupid at all, he won in ‘94 and he benched Rai then so don’t thin he doesn’t know a squad with the younger players that played on Confederations Cup is better. The problem is that such a squad will just be uncontrollable and would thrash any opponent and the real goal was to keep the team on a leash and not allow it to play.

Which was confirmed by tommorow’s match. Did you see what Brazil did after France scored?? Any team would start to attack and hurry up. They were simply not really attacking. Cafu was substituted and he walked out of the field as it was 3:0 for Brazil…
They never sped it up.
It was the 89th minute and Roberto Carlos was walking with the ball in his own half insted of running in the French half and attacking.

After a match they lost players usually cry, I didn’t see that, some were even smiling (!!!)

I don’t believe all this was real.

Brazil has been eliminated before but it always happened after a hard fought match and a spectacular performance from Brazil (82, 86, 90…)

Now they didn;t want to play; the whole tournament

Some more food for thought:

William Hill announced that 70% of the betting were for a Brazil title…

Bekenabuer announced yesterday he doesn’t want to become FIFA president. So the title goes to Eueope, Blatter gets all the European votes, Brazil gets the 2014 WC and everybody is happy…

and no, I am not crazy at all, this is a multi-billion dollar business so don’t expect it to be decided by 22 men and a ball.

What do you think?

Tags: world+cup, conspiracy

Popularity: 2% [?]

Email making the rounds for a few years already, as follows:

Popularity: 3% [?]

The whole world’s gushing over Zidane now – I’ve been doing so for years; even though I’m a Brazil fan. Zinedine Zidane is the Michael Jordan of soccer.

If you can’t see the video, it’s available at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChwbQdOAxZo

Popularity: 1% [?]

Not mentioning Youri Djorkaeff – ponteng!

Boris Becker and wifey (?) spotted at Germany v Argentina match, guess he’d be smiling afterwards:

Mick Jagger, for once is not in the spotlight at the England v Portugal match. Guess he’d not be too happy afterwards…

Popularity: 1% [?]