UNCONVENTIONAL WORLD RECORDS

I think there are a few contenders:

First, apparently done by a Malaysian, uploaded to Youtube June 2010. You can even hear a dog barking starting 3:29:

As of the time of writing, has had more than 167,000 views.

If you’re brave enough to upload your video singing to a popular song, and it’s decidedly amateurish, get ready to be crucified by armchair critics. Some comments I saw:

You look [like you're] possessed.

Someone? buy him a Gillette ! PLEASE !

Are the words written on the back of your eyelids?!? WTF is with the freaky? eye stuff Bro?

CANT THIS GUY JUST TURN? OFF THE LIGHT PLEASE.

You sing like? a retarded Beaver … Justin Beaver LOLOL …

Well, what do you think? I thought he was merely taking a break off one of those construction jobs.

Second, The Grandma Version:

Third, The Family Version, complete with weird-sounding “dad”:

Popularity: 1% [?]

The most famous / most interesting X-rays that have ever been taken could very well be Marilyn Monroe’s 3 chest x-rays, one frontal, and one from the side, taken in 1954 when she was 28 years old.

At least 2 are viewable at Julien’s Auctions website:

Hmm… with a figure like that, she probably kick-started an obsession with weighingscales among the ladies.

The website had the following notes:

… As a radiology resident at Cedars [of Lebanon Hospital] a young doctor obtained these x-rays. When he taught at the school himself, he used these x-rays to ensure that students were paying attention. Monroe was said to have known about the x-rays and their use, about which she said “isn’t that sweet.”

It was reported by the BBC on 28th June 2010 that the set sold for USD45,000 recently at a movie memorabilia auction at Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas, selling for much more than its USD3,000 pre-sale estimate.

She died in 1962 aged 36.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Alex “Hurricane” Higgins has been described in superlatives. He’s fast-moving around the table and was flamboyant, with a highly unusual technique, including swerving his body when cueing. Most pros would say this is a classic example of how NOT to play snooker, yet this way, Higgins managed to pot ball after ball in rapid succession.

His legend was only increased by his habit of drinking and smoking during tournaments, and his volatile personality, which resulted in his many altercations, even on the table, although I’m not sure if he ever went through a non 12 step therapy program to try deal with his demons.

Started on snooker at 11, by 16 (in 1965) he had scored his first maximum break (147) and turned pro at 22, becoming World Snooker Champion in his first attempt in 1972.

His greatest achievement must be that classic 1982 World Professional Snooker Championship semifinal against another snooker genius in Jimmy White.

Higgins was 0-59 down in this frame, and one mistake would see him defeated. Yet, he, with his unorthodox style, came back from the dead and scored a break of 69, probably the greatest ever break made under pressure: an incredibly difficult clearance during which he was barely managed good positions until it was time for the colours.

Former world champion Dennis Taylor was quoted to have said:

…a three-quarter-ball pot on a blue into the green pocket especially memorable, not only for its extreme degree of difficulty but for enabling Higgins to continue the break and keep White off the table and unable to clinch victory at that moment.

In successfully potting that blue, the Hurricane “screwed the cue-ball on to the side cushion to bring it back towards the black/pink area with extreme left-hand sidespin,” which Taylor himself believes “could be played 100 times without coming close to the position Higgins reached with cue-ball.”

Even Steve Davis, one of snooker’s greatest ever players said in Clive Everton’s TV documentary The Story of Snooker (2002): “Higgins is the one true genius that snooker has produced.”

Video:

That year Higgins went on to be world champion for the second time in his career, defeating one of the most successful players of that era, Ray Reardon 18–15, with a clearance of 135 in the final frame.

He died 24th July 2010 of throat cancer aged 61.

Popularity: 1% [?]

In 1973, Marianne Faithfull, 27, heavily into drug addiction [probably addicted to everything from apidexin to heroin], notoriously performed, while dressed as a nun, at the American TV network National Broadcasting Company (NBC) with David Bowie, singing Sonny and Cher’s song “I Got You Babe”.

She had broken up with Mick Jagger 3 years earlier, lost custody of her son in that same year, which led to her mother attempting suicide. She lived on London’s Soho streets for two years, suffering from heroin addiction and anorexia nervosa.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Dee Snider is the lead singer of the heavy metal band Twisted Sister. As you can imagine, he projects an image that is the worst nightmare of any well-intentioned father.

This is exemplified in their 1984 music video entitled “We’re Not Gonna Take It”, one of their most well-known songs:

Fast forward 15 years, Dee Snider has a role reversal: he now plays *the father*, in Lit’s Zip Lock:

Haha, I quite enjoyed that: at the very least it seems that Snider’s on diet pills that work. And oh, good song too.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Match: Denmark v Cameroon

Danish defender Simon Kjaer kicked an unbelieveably pintpoint long ball that went almost the entire length of the field to midfielder Dennis Rommedahl, who then passed to forward Nicklas Bendtner who slid the ball home. Simply world class delivery, even Iniesta or Xavi would’ve appreciated the quality.

The match ended 2-1 in favour of Denmark.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Match: Brazil v Ivory Coast

Actor: Kader Keita, 29 (Ivory Coast)

Pushed lightly in the chest by Brazilian superstar Kaka, Keita dropped to the ground, while pretending to be in extreme agony by clutching his face.

The result? Red card for Kaka.

The incident made Keita inevitably infamous, with some quarters in the Brazilian camp calling for him to be made a guinea pig at a medical assistant school. But then, what did they ask to be done to Rivaldo during the 2002 World Cup match with Turkey?

Popularity: 1% [?]

Match: Holland (Netherlands) v Uruguay, semifinals

The general consensus of the goal of the 2010 World Cup seems to be Giovanni van Bronckhorst’s 40m stunner that went in the top corner of Uruguay’s goal.

Fantastic, unstoppable.

I still have a soft spot for Carlos Tevez’s stunner from outside the penalty box, but probably for the vast majority of football fans, it’s like saying this cheap China-made faucet is better than Hansgrohe faucets…

Popularity: 1% [?]

I think there should be a compilation of all the worst (and funny) things that happened during the World Cup, it would be a best seller everywhere, even at Best Buy.

For example…

Match: Nigeria v South Korea, 1st round

Nigeria’s Everton striker Yakubu Aiyegbeni missed probably the easiest shot in the 2010 World Cup. It was a tap-in from a mere 2 metres. This could very well be the most embarrassing moment in World Cup history. Even former England striker, Alan Shearer said “I reckon that’s the worst miss I’ve ever seen.”

He later made up for it by scoring a penalty. The match ended 2-2.

Popularity: 1% [?]

The internet’s biggest parody continues with the World Cup.

In the following, Hitler is none too pleased when he finds out that Germany would be facing England in the last 16. Quotable quote: “Robert Green … if only he held on to that ball, none of this would be happening!”

In the following, Hitler gets angry because FIFA failed to ban the vuvuzela.

Hmm, the Fuhrer seems to be losing his top to anything and everything – who knows what’s next to incur his wrath – perhaps even his riding boots won’t be spared.

Popularity: 1% [?]

It was just a matter of time. During the World Cup fever, there would be countless replicas of the famous trophy, so it makes sense for drug lords to try making a Cocaine World Cup trophy, hence less likely to be detected.

The BBC reported on 4th July 2010 narcotics police in Colombia has seized a replica World Cup trophy made of 11kg of cocaine. It was mixed with acetone / gasoline so that it’s mouldable, then gold-painted. The 36cm (14in) trophy was inside a delivery box in a warehouse at Bogota airport, about to be sent to Spain.

Earlier, on 13th March 2010, it was reported that Colombian police found 16kg of cocaine inside replicas of three sculptures by renowned Colombian artist Fernando Botero, also on the way to Spain. The drug was mixed into the clay of the sculptures as they were being cast. It was found in a Bogota warehouse.

Botero’s statues are usually oversized figurines

On 20th March 2009, it was reported that Spanish police has seized a 42-piece dinner set made entirely of compressed cocaine weighing more than 20 kg. The set contained blue-sunflowery plates, cups, pots and saucers – painted blue and decorated with sunflowers.

It had been sent from Venezuela to Barcelona through London.

A video of the set being unpacked:

On the 6th of March 2009, a 66-year-old Chilean man with a broken leg in a cast was arrested at Barcelona airport after the “cast” was found to be made of cocaine and not plaster. He arrived from Santiago. As if that’s not enough, he was also carrying 6 cans of beer and 2 small hollowed-out stools that contained… you guessed it right: cocaine. Total loot: almost 5 kg. The police said he might even have broken his leg on purpose.

That’s it – as a result of that stunt, I’d say it’d be impossible for our man to get life insurance quotes.

Why all these cases targeted Spain? Because of the common language, and because Spain is Europe’s second highest consumer of cocaine in Europe after Britain.

Now this could very well trump what’s happening in and around the Cup, like:
- Ghana & Paraguay penalty misses that cost them a historic semifinal appearance
- Suarez’s new Hand of God
- Spain’s winning goal against Paraguay that hit the post 3 times before going in
- Germany’s 8-goal demolition of England and Argentina
- Brazil blaming Mick Jagger for their shock exit
- Kaka, Torres and Messi all firing blanks

Popularity: 1% [?]

During the 2010 World Cup, there were several glaring mistakes that could’ve changed the outcome of a match. So bad, that some of the referees involved were not allowed to take charge of another match, some needed police protection and later sent home.

Cases included:

Carlos Batres of Guatemala who apparently committed so many errors in one game: Paraguay v Spain (quarterfinals):
(i) disallowed Paraguay’s legitimate 1st goal;
(ii) the saved Paraguay penalty by Oscar Cardozo should’ve been retaken due to several Spanish players encroaching the area before the ball was kicked;
(iii) Spain should’ve been awarded another penalty for the foul on David Villa right after Xabi Alonso’s saved penalty.

Koman Coulibaly of Mali refereed the USA – Slovenia match in the group stage, then controversially denied the Americans a goal. The match ended 2-2.

Jorge Larrionda of Uruguay, who made what could be the most high-profile mistake of the tournament, when he didn’t count England’s goal against Germany, even though video replays showed the ball definitely went in.

Stephane Lannoy of France, who sent off Brazil’s Kaka for a harmless challenge during the group match with Ivory Coast.

Roberto Rosetti of Italy, who allowed Argentina’s disputed first goal against Mexico in the second round.

Will the best eye cream make them see better? Compare those with the worst ever refereeing mistakes ever committed during the World Cup finals.

World Cup 1986: The infamous Hand of God incident: it was the quarterfinals in Mexico City: England against Argentina. For Maradona’s second goal, he jumped up for a header and punched the ball over Peter Shilton. The referee, Ali Bennaceur of Tunisia failed to spot the crime and the goal stood. Maradona’s remembered most for this incident, even more than the fabulous first goal which he also scored.

World Cup 1982: France vs Germany semifinal. Michel Platini’s through ball cleared striker Patrick Battiston goalbound. Then German goalie Harald Schumacher crashed into his face, knocking him unconscious and breaking a tooth. Amazingly, the referee, Charles Corver of Holland not only not issued a booking nor a penalty, he awarded a goal kick instead! Germany went on to win the match.

World Cup 2006: Graham Poll of England is among the top 100 referees of all time according to International Federation of Football History and Statistics, and at that year’s world cup, he had been tipped to referee the final itself. His first 2 games were OK, however, in his 3rd game, which was the Croatia vs Australia match, he yellow carded Josip Šimuni? of Croatia 3 times before finally realising his error and promptly sent him off. First it was in the 61st minute, then Poll carded him again for a tackle in the 90th, but failed to send him off. In the dying seconds of the game 3 minutes later, Šimuni? argued with Poll, and received his “third” yellow card, this time followed by a red card. FIFA at first noted all 3 yellows in its match report, later removing the 2nd booking. As a result, Poll was removed from the knockout stage referee list. He retired from refereeing any international tournament finals after that. In his 2007 autobiography, Poll wrote that when he booked Šimuni? for the second time, he had wrongly recorded him as “Australia #3″ because of Šimuni?’s “Australian accent.”

Popularity: unranked [?]

UPDATE 7 July 2010

So the Sacred World Cuppa Theory has gone down the drain after 48 years, or perhaps it hasn’t?

Maybe the theory need to be amended as follows:

Since 1962, European teams will triumph if the tournament is held in a time zone similar to Europe’s, otherwise, South Americans would.

So for 2010, since South Africa is in a similar time zone to Europe, a European team would lift the Cup.

————————————
5 July 2010

Uruguay has not won the World Cup for 60 years – I wonder if people who actually saw the match live are still around – if they do, they’re probably heavy users of face creams by now.

Even though they are 2-time world champions, on the face of it, Uruguay would seem to be headed for almost certain elimination in the semifinals on 6th July 2010 when they face mighty Holland.

However, there’s a thing called “The Sacred World Cuppa Theory” which had been proven right for 48 years, which says in gist:

Since 1962, Europe and South America would take turns to win the World Cup, and following along the same lines, whenever the tournament is held in Europe, a European team will win the Cup, but if anywhere else, a South American team will.

For this to be true, Uruguay will have to achieve 2 Mission Impossibles. First, it will have to defeat high-riding Netherlands in the semis. If they manage that, they’d then face off with either Germany / Spain in the final on 11th July.

One might say this will never happen, but after witnessing the several Mission Impossibles South Korea achieved in 2002, I’d say: nothing’s impossible.

Still not convinced / you’d rather ask Paul the Psychic Oberhausen Octopus?

Consider these cases:

World Cup 1994: Brazil v Italy final. It was the first ever World Cup final to be decided by a penalty shoot-out. Roberto Baggio took Italy’s fifth and last penalty, but skied his shot. To be fair to him Franco Baresi and Daniele Massaro had already missed their penalties. But had he scored, Italy would’ve drawn level 3-3 and could’ve very well edged out Brazil – but as a little bird said, the Gods of World Cuppa descended from the heavens and made sure Baggio – the undisputed best Italian player during that world cup, the fourth-highest all-time top scorer for Italy, the only Italian player ever to score in three World Cups – missed the most important kick of his whole career.

World Cup 2010: it was the quarterfinals and Brazil had already crashed out earlier. The Gods of World Cuppa must’ve known that Argentina and Paraguay would also follow suit the next day, and chose Uruguay to continue to be the torchbearer for South American football. So, on 2nd July 2010, at the final minute of extra time, Dominic Adiyiah’s goalbound header was stopped by Luis Suarez on the line, deliberately with his hands (hence the legend of the Second Hand of God was born). So Suarez was sent off, and Ghana awarded a surely match-winning penalty. So who’d be the best person to take it? Who else but the Black Stars’ top scorer Asamoah Gyan. As legend would have it, to be retold for generations to come, the Gods of World Cuppa descended from the heavens yet again, and lowered the goal’s crossbar by a few millimetres, resulting in Gyan’s penalty hitting it, to the utter dismay of the entire African continent.

Popularity: unranked [?]